Not this kind.
He's in Boulder.
So yeah, the Killers are playing the Fillmore. Remember, the same place we saw Muse? Roller rink from the 20's? Small. General admission. I'm super stoked, because I love the Killers, as I pointed out more than a year ago.
What I do not love, however, is Ticketmaster. I hate them with the white hot heat of the sun. I hate them because they are the evil overlords to whom I must bow down if I want to be in the same room as my beloved Killers. Here's the problem, which any red-blooded American already knows about if he or she has ever purchased event tickets from Ticketmaster. The convenience charge.
Now, back in nineteen diggity-six when I first started buying tickets from Ticketmaster, I remember the convenience fee being a few bucks per ticket. We all grumbled, but they have to make a profit somehow, right? This was also about the time that Pearl Jam decided to fight the Man by not going through Ticketmaster. We all know how that turned out. It seemed a bit silly at the time, nothing more than an empty gesture designed to be as much a publicity move as a statement. It was, after all, post-grunge. Nobody gave a crap about Pearl Jam anyway. Can anyone name a decent single after "Daughter"? That's what I thought.
Anyway, back in nineteen diggity-six it didn't seem like much of a problem. But today, when I fought my way through the haze of battle, past the trenches of "Password not recognized" and beyond the mustard gas-soaked no-man's-land of "complete this page within one minute to keep your tickets," I finally arrived at the promised land of "Tickets Confirmed." I had confounded Jerry at every turn, only to be met with:
The Killers
Full Price Ticket: US$30.25 x2
Convenience Charge: US$8.55 x2
Delivery by Mail: No Charge (<-- would have been $2.50 per if I printed them out, but that's a rant for another day)
Order Processing Fee: US$4.60
Total Charges: US$82.50
Ladies and gentlemen, that is a total of $22.00 in fees. US currency, lest you forget. That's only $8.00 less than the cost of a whole 'nother ticket. I am apoplectic, people. Apoplectic.
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