Sunday, August 20, 2006

Snakes. On a plane.

I am speechless with joy at this film.

Snakes on a Plane was better than I ever could have imagined. It combined the audience participation of an old-time melodrama with the unquestionable badassness that is Sam Jackson. Characters were clearly defined. There was a prissy Hollywood starlet. There were lustful honeymooners. There was a hip-hop star and his bodyguards. There was a stuffy Englishman. There was the older flight attendant who was three weeks away from retirement.

I'll let you use your extensive knowledge of movie cliches to figure out which of these folks made it, and which of them ended up in a grisly puddle of pus and blood on the floor of a 747. The body count is staggeringly impressive. Shakespeare would be proud.

Also, Samuel L. Jackson is in it. What does the "L" stand for? "Lotsa freaking awesome," that's what.

So do yourselves and your loved ones a favor. Today (technically) is Sunday. You have the whole day to do your laundry, run your errands, and still devote an hour and a half to the best movie you will see all year. I don't care that movie tickets are $10 apiece. I would have paid twice that to witness the perfect, pure beauty that was Snakes on a Plane.

To recap: There are snakes. They are on a plane. This is all you need to know.

To Michelle and anyone else wondering whether I did really, in fact, enjoy the film: Yes.

To my dad, specifically, who called me a week after this original post to ask me if I did, in fact, actually enjoy the movie and was I being serious: YES.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

See! That's exactly the kinda tip I've come to expect and appreciate from this site.

Turns out I WILL see it after all. Cheers :-)

There's snakes. They're on the plane... Who would've thought that would work!?!?

Craig.

Anonymous said...

HA HA HA HA! I saw it, although I admit it to very few people. I kinda enjoyed it, espcially when people were swelling up and frothing at the mouth after they got bit.....Anika

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I saw Snakes on a Plane and really liked it, too. I think the critics just want something to dump on. But then, the Box Office tells no lies. A crummy $15.2 million. How come all of those Internet weasles never went out to see the movie they helped promote for more than a year!!!!
-- Dad