No, this is true. I was just enjoying a gullet-stuffing meal at Panda Express, when I overheard people arguing about Jesus. As you do. I turned around, and it was a trashy version of Tammy Faye (I know what you're thinking, and no. I mean really trashy) and Ringo Starr.
I'm not actually sure it was Ringo, because he didn't have an English accent, and he had put on some weight. I would let myself go, too, if I wan't exactly the odds-on favorite for last Beatle standing. But anyway, if it wasn't Ringo, then I'd put money on him being the evil guy from Superman, who always looked to me like a cross between a hairdresser and a lost member of Fleetwood Mac.
The story doesn't really go anywhere from here, other than Evil Ringo making such sparkling points as "But anyone who says 'that the only way to heaven is through me' isn't much of a teacher." Obviously this man never went to college -- I'm pretty sure that at least 3 of my professors made that exact claim.
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