Your seething rage is very important to us.

I just got a bill for a doctor's visit that I did back in April. The first time they sent the bill, I called up the doctor's office to find that due to a clerical error, they hadn't submitted it properly to the health insurance people. They told me they'd take care of it.

A second bill arrived last week, so I sat down today to the unenviable task of calling the insurance company. I won't say which one it is, but I will tell you that it rhymes with Horizon Blue Cross Blue Shield.

After dealing with the overly perky voice recognition lady, I was put on hold for a good 5 minutes. Finally, one of Jersey's finest customer service reps picks up the line:

JFCSR: "Thank you for calling Horizon. All of our representatives are currently on the line with other customers. Um, I can't help you right now, but I can take your phone number and have someone call you back."

Me: "Can't I just keep holding?"

JFCSR: "Um, no, I can't have you hold. Because all of the representatives are on the phone with other customers."

Me: *click*

Isn't the point of being on hold that, although every rep is busy, you get to talk to one of them when they are done? Why can't I stay on hold? They have a woman answering phones just to get people off of them? Why couldn't she look up my claim?

It has occured to me that this may be the call center's sneaky-ass way of minimizing long hold times. If they tell people they'll call them back, the records will show that all calls were answered within 3 minutes or whatever. Some supervisor's trying to fatten up their paycheck.

Update: I called back and got the same "Don't call us, we'll call you" spiel. Funny, when I told them I was somewhere that I couldn't receive incoming phone calls, she was suddenly able to look up my record and answer my question.