Tuesday, July 05, 2005

What I'll be doing this summer vacation.

You've probably already heard, but I'd like to see it in print; it's so much more satisfying, and besides -- if it's on the internet, it MUST be true.

Chris and I are going to Argentina in September, for ten days. I think it's going to be fantastic. My Spanish ought to come back a treat, and even if it doesn't, we've got a phrasebook and the ability to talk loudly in English. I hear that always works.

Reminds me of something that Nathan and I saw in Ireland in '98. We met these two American cats, Erin and Ryan, who had what can only be described as a picture phrasebook. It was a spiral-bound collection of logically grouped pictures: food, places, first aid, money, and so forth. The idea is that you could be a boorish American tourist and not even bother learning the most basic of local phrases. Walk up to any native, shove the book in their face, and start grunting and pointing until they send you in the direction of the nearest bureau de change. What a fantastic idea for encouraging the rest of the world to hate us!

Needless to say,Nathan and I, as well as Galwegian Tim, completely absconded with this atrocity and proceeded to compose the most nonsensical possible sentence. As a result, I am happy to report that with the aid of this book, one can confidently stroll about in any country on earth and convey to the populace that "Aliens ate my condoms." It's true. There are little icons (on different pages of course) of a space alien, a knife and fork, and a condom. I know everyone will sleep better tonight knowing that.

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