Best bad waitress ever.

Chris came up to the neighborhood where I work to go with me to a party that was sponsored by some of my co-workers. We had a great time listening to Hubert's wisdom about Japanese noise bands. No, I don't know what it's all about either. At any rate, after we left we got some dinner at Islands.

What was our first clue that something was terribly wrong? As we were waiting for our food, our waitress brought us someone else's credit card and check. "That's not ours," we said. She looked confused, so I elaborated with "We haven't eaten yet."

The food came, it was great, and someone came by to take it away. Not thirty seconds later, our waitress dropped off another round of iced tea. At the time, I thought it a bit odd to bring us more drinks and not mention the check, but she seemed in a hurry and we thought nothing more of it.

After a while being left alone, food coma set in and we started to get antsy about the fact that we hadn't gotten the check yet. Then, out of nowhere, our waitress swoops in with an armful of food and a big smile on her face. "Here ya go, sorry about the wait."

Um. No, we said. "Why not?" she asked, clearly very confused and vexed as to why we did not want to eat the delicious food she had brought us. "Because we've already eaten." This was quickly becoming the most bizarre restaurant experience we've ever had. "Oh my god, oh no. I looked over at you guys and you had drinks and no food and I thought that I had just completely forgotten about you so I put in new orders. Are you sure you don't want this? I can totally wrap it to go for you."

We actually found ourselves trying to explain to her that we were going to be gone the next day and so a whole meal in the fridge would go completely to waste. As she walked away with the food, I mouthed "High?" to Chris. He nodded emphatically. Just like in a movie or something, she came back with our change. "Please count that, I'm feeling stupid. I know there's a mistake."

Sure enough, she was $10 short. Today's lesson, kids: Do not come to work high -- you will only confuse yourself and piss off your customers.