Thursday, January 11, 2007

Girl From Ipanema

In a perfect world, this would be the song you'd be hearing, Muzak-style, right now. We'll be spending the next few days cleaning our house of Christmas flotsam and traveling jetsam, and in the few moments I can spare on the computer, I'll be uploading pictures and stories to Cuzcotopia.

Hold music is one of the things I would control with an iron fist if I were in charge of the world. Well, forget in charge of the world -- in that scenario, I would first abolish junior high and require two years of community service abroad after high school. Then, when the revolution comes, the members of Kool and the Gang would be the first ones up against the wall. But let's say I made a movie. In that movie, "Girl from Ipanema" would be the hold music of every telephone call, the background music in each elevator, and snatches of it would waft in during particularly tense moments without dialogue. It would be the really tinny, scratchy 60s instrumental version, too. You may disagree, but think back to the last time you had to wait on hold with Cingular and listen to people hyperventilate with excitement over the joys of call waiting. At least "Girl from Ipanema" doesn't make you want to hit others in the face.

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