Maggie's Halloween costume idea

I know it's a little early in the year, but Maggie is already working on ideas for her Halloween costume. From what we can tell by this pose, she's leaning towards Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, or Paris Hilton.

I mostly posted this picture because I wanted to use the "pixelate" function of Photoshop. You are welcome.

Postscript: she was frozen in this position for a good ten minutes. Never say my dog isn't entertaining as all getout.

The Weather Channel is harsh.

It's snowed every weekend for the last six weeks in Colorado. I don't just mean that snowstorms happened to bleed over into the weekend, I mean that we have been snow-free on weekdays, only to have a storm blow in on Friday night, Saturday, and/or Sunday. We are kind of tired of snow for a while, and we weren't even here for two of the biggest storms.

Chris and I turn on the Weather Channel every morning while ironing clothes, because living in Colorado means paying attention to the weather each and every single day. We're not in San Diego (weather forecast: nice) anymore.

So what with the recent interminable snow, it was really disheartening to see the following advice from the weather gurus, even if they were talking about the Great Lakes:

Now, because the temperature has busted up above 40, we are going to celebrate by taking our cabin-feverish dog to the dog park.

Bathroom makeover

Last weekend, we repainted our downstairs bathroom. The old color was a terrible dusty blue/battleship gray combination, and the asses even did the ceiling in that color. Just bad. Also, the cabinets were that very special oak that was so popular in the late 80s/early 90s.

Behold, what a couple of gallons of paint, a vacation photo, and a flower in a pot can do.


Before:


After:

Before:


After:

And for those of you looking at this, and looking at the photos of our spare bedroom, I know what you're thinking and you're wrong. I did not pick the colors for either of these rooms. Chris originally suggested green for both of these rooms, and that is one of the many reasons that I am marrying him. Mmmmm. Green.

Just eat it, you little piggy.

Among all the weird office behaviors I've never understood, this is one of the more incomprehendable. You know the box of assorted donuts that shows up from time to time? First of all, why do they insist on putting that one in with white frosting and coconut shavings? No one wants that one. Ever. If the donuts come in at 9am, the sad coconut one is still sitting there at 4:30. Note to bakers: just stop making the coconut one. It's wasteful.

But what I'm trying to talk about here are the "I'll just have half" goblin, the one that swoops in when no one's looking and breaks a donut in two, leaving the other half to waste away uneaten, his only friend the abandoned coconut donut.

I understand the concept here -- you want only half a donut. You think that maybe by breaking the donut in half, you are leaving the other half there for someone else who also decides they want only half a donut. However, you fail to account that you are living in germophobe America, where everything from dishwashing soap to Chee-tos is sold in antibacterial form. Sure, anyone who comes along and sees your half donut will probably assume that you didn't just hungrily gnaw off the side you wanted, but they'll still know that you picked up the entire donut with your grimy paws and tore it in half. No one wants that other half now. It's a pariah donut.

Maybe MAYBE if you used a knife to make a clean cut, the resulting half donut might not be rejected by your office mates, but here's a better suggestion:

TAKE THE WHOLE DONUT. Just take it. It wasn't on your dime anyway. Find someone to split it with you, or simply eat half and throw the other half away. If you are unwilling or unable to throw away half a donut because of the waste factor, please re-read the third paragraph wherein I point out that you live in America and accept that this kind of behavior is expected. If you're afraid that you'll eat the whole donut because you don't have the willpower to throw away half the donut, then allow me to point out that you've already lost the willpower battle because you're eating donuts in the first place. Today is not your day to make good food choices, so enjoy the whole donut.

I bring this up because the "I'll just have half" goblins are getting more ridiculous. I approached the donut box a few days ago to find, next to the coconut donut, three-quarters of a donut. Three quarters, people. Someone actually managed to extract one-quarter of a donut for their reduced guilt pleasure, ruining the rest of it for someone else. Judging by the fatties in my office, I don't think eating the rest of the donut would have made much difference.

We now return you

to your previously scheduled Funundrum. I'm done with the trip blog, so now I can focus my energies entirely on... whatever this is. Thank you for your patience.

Girl From Ipanema

In a perfect world, this would be the song you'd be hearing, Muzak-style, right now. We'll be spending the next few days cleaning our house of Christmas flotsam and traveling jetsam, and in the few moments I can spare on the computer, I'll be uploading pictures and stories to Cuzcotopia.

Hold music is one of the things I would control with an iron fist if I were in charge of the world. Well, forget in charge of the world -- in that scenario, I would first abolish junior high and require two years of community service abroad after high school. Then, when the revolution comes, the members of Kool and the Gang would be the first ones up against the wall. But let's say I made a movie. In that movie, "Girl from Ipanema" would be the hold music of every telephone call, the background music in each elevator, and snatches of it would waft in during particularly tense moments without dialogue. It would be the really tinny, scratchy 60s instrumental version, too. You may disagree, but think back to the last time you had to wait on hold with Cingular and listen to people hyperventilate with excitement over the joys of call waiting. At least "Girl from Ipanema" doesn't make you want to hit others in the face.

Funundrum recommends

Today, Funundrum would like to recommend getting engaged at Machu Picchu. Chris managed to stow a diamond ring in a money belt for a full week before we made our way to the ancient Incan royal retreat, just so he could surprise me with it at dawn of our second day exploring the place. The morning, though foggy, was beautiful, and since we took the first bus up the mountain we had the place completely to ourselves.

We've been back home for about 24 hours, and I've fielded roughly 153 instances of the question "Why didn't you blog it sooner?" I'm deeply flattered that so many people enjoy the blog, but I guess I just didn't want to throw it up here without a picture. That, and I hadn't yet spoken to my closest friends, and it felt a bit trite to blog first. So now that I've told pretty much everyone (I know there are a couple exceptions, and I'm sorry), here's the picture. Yay!

(Moms: you may save this picture by left-clicking on it. Then when it comes up bigger, right-click and choose "Save Picture As.")