Bad Copy of the Day Award

This is actually bad copy from a couple of months ago, but it's such a hassle to cull photos from the CrapCam, it had to wait.  This is another entry from the alternate dimension from whence my produce signs are created:

Cute presentation, definitely draws the eye and creates smiles.  But I have to take a bit of issue with the middle bit.  Surely, even if you don't know how to spell "clementines," you'd look at this, sound it out, and say, "No, don't think so."  Then pester Steve from the bakery department to help you out, considering that he's always so high-falutin' and using them fancy French names for bread and stuff.  He should take them baguettes of his and shove them.

Bizarre produce section signs

I think they hired someone new at our local King Soopers grocery store.  Someone whose soul has not yet been crushed by the endless monotony of stacking organic seedless grapes.  I noticed this development slowly, over the course of several weeks, every time I'd walk into the produce section.  Signs for fruit and vegetables had begun to take on a surreal and playful nature.  It appealed greatly to me, but I don't know how the rest of my PlasticLand(tm) neighbors are enjoying it.

I was just beginning to chronicle these signs for posterity when we had to go and move.  We'll see if the staff at the Jewel has the same sense of humor, but I doubt it.

Is this not the strangest way to market mangos you've ever seen?  Extra points for creatively pluralizing to "mangoes."  Makes it look more exotic.

A Lol-Object? In my neighborhood? It's more likely than you think.

This little guy lives in the park nearby our house. I thought he needed some love and attention. And a nonsensical caption. So there you go.

I am a Crimestopper in Action (tm)!

My dog and I are still getting used to the idea that she no longer has a backyard to run around in, or a dog door to access that backyard whenever she wishes.  We seem to be getting on pretty well so far by going on three walks a day.  If she doesn't do her business by the end of the 20-minute walk, I just lift her up and squeeze until she goes.  It's like getting the last of the toothpaste out.

I've devised a standard loop of a walk that goes from my house, out to the park at the end of the block, and around a small community center within the park.  Last night, we had just approached the community center when I saw a man, dressed in dark clothing, sidling along the wall.  He was even carrying a small bag or case.  I thought to myself, "No way.  No way is that guy being that obvious.  This is not a man who is about to break into a Chicago community center at like 9:30 at night."  The only thing more suspicious would have been for him to be carrying canvas bags with big dollar signs on them.

I walked past, minding my own business, but when I turned the corner of the building, I glanced back to check on the guy.  SHO NUFF he had opened a window (I guess it was unlocked?) and already had his legs inside.  I don't yet have the non-emergency police number on my phone, so I was still trying to think what I could do about the situation as I came around the back of the building.  To my surprise, a police cruiser was idling in the parking lot.  I recognized the officer from the other day, when I saw her talking to locals at a strip mall.  

After I waved at her from outside the car, she rolled down her window and spent a minute giving the appropriate pets to my beautiful dog before asking me what she could do for me.  "I just saw a man climb in the window of this building, on the other side."  "REALLY?"  Honestly, I think I made her night.  "Where?" she asked.  "Across the street?"  NO, here, this building," as I pointed to the building 20 feet away from us to be clear.  It's the only building in the park.  "He climbed in a window to a dark room here in this building, just on the other side."  She said she'd check it out and peeled out of the parking lot and around to the other side.

I didn't hang out to find out what happened.  I just hope that if this guy was up to no good, she was able to apprehend him.  This is my city now too -- please stay out of my community center.

Look what I have done for you.

I mean, aside from letting this blog go idle for three months, so that you would more fully appreciate the material I've put into it.

No, I've gone and moved from the Denver suburbs to smack in the middle of the city of Chicago.  I've only lived here properly for a few days, but I can't shake the feeling that I've moved to the greatest city in America.  I'd say the greatest city in the world, but a) I haven't yet been everywhere else and b) I think London might give a run for the money.

I expect this turn of events to present some excellent blogging opportunities.  After all, this is an actual city where stuff really happens.  I get to ride the train everywhere, which is the great social equalizer and will bump me up against a pretty good cross-section of humanity.  You never know what might happen.

My next post is a case in point.