Look what I do for you.

Nothing has happened to me for a while, and nothing looked like it was going to continue happening for quite some time to come. What did I do? I signed up for a Wilton cake decorating class. Now all my cakes are going to be just as beautiful as they are delicious. Someone at work asked me if I was planning on making my own wedding cake. "Hahahahahaa," I said. Because that would be the worst idea ever.

Tonight was the first class, and I'm pretty excited about spending the next three weeks shocking my classmates in a very tame, buttercream-covered sort of way. From what I can tell, they're all kind of soccer mom types who will be content churning out next week's project, a rainbow cake (picture ripped off of someone else's blog who's taken this class before).

I am not making a rainbow cake.

I haven't decided what kind of cake I'm making yet, but it's not going to be a rainbow cake. Maybe a pirate cake, or a zombie cake, or a purple monkey cake, but no rainbows.

Eventually we'll move on to the creepiest-looking clowns you've ever seen. This pictured clown is from the Wilton website, so it's only mildly cringe-inducing. A first-time clown-maker, such as myself, will no doubt produce misshapen, deformed creatures that look humanoid only because of the plastic clown head shoved into the top of it.

The good news is I don't have to eat any of these cakes -- this is why I have an office full of people who eat things that are given to them. It's a good thing, too. The buttercream frosting we have to make for class isn't made with butter at all. It's mostly Crisco. Run away, children.

I will definitely be keeping everyone up to date on the Wilton lessons. I need enough encouragement that I move on to the next levels of classes... otherwise I'll learn just enough to be dangerous. SCARY CLOWNS FOR ALL!!! BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!