Why Colorado is easily one of the top five states to live in.

My state makes beer. Lots of it. Lots of really good beer. When my parents were out to visit, we toured no fewer than three microbreweries in as many days, and tasted more hefeweizens and IPAs than you can shake a stick at. There's an entire section in our liquor store devoted to Colorado breweries, and we still haven't made our way through half of them.

When we saw this in the store the other day, it made me realize what a special place I live in. This here is a Mystery Microbrew Grab Bag, offered for the low low price of $7.99. If there's anything better than the promise of excellent microbrew combined with the anxious anticipation of which kind if might be, I can't think of what it is. We didn't get it, but the little voice inside my head is telling me we should have. Maybe next time.

Melephant

So I cleared off the CrapCam's memory, and found this little gem. The same property management company is in charge of both my office building and the luxury apartment building across the street, so they invited my company's employees to an open house to check out the high-rise penthousy thingies. We went over there, put on little shoe hairnets to keep the floors nice, and when we came back, I convinced Melanie to put the shoenets on her ears like an elephant. A Melephant, if you will. And you will, I assure you.

The What-inator?

What's wrong with America, you ask? Our president consults a Magic 8-Ball to determine the course of foreign policy, only it's a special Magic 8-Ball that only has answers like "KILL," "INVADE NOW, ASK AGAIN LATER," and "DON'T LISTEN TO THE WILL OF THE PEOPLE, YOU CAN'T HEAR THEM, LA LA LA LA LA"? Sure, that too, but what about the latest cheeseburger offering from Wendy's? I'm referring here to the Baconator. You heard me.

I took this picture with the CrapCam, so I'm rather impressed with the photo quality. For those of you whose eyes are watering at the thought of how much grease is involved in this sandwich, allow me to provide the gory details. Six strips of bacon, a half pound of beef, and two pieces of cheese. I know that just to the left, the triple cheeseburger is crying out for its fair share of attention, but it hasn't got a banner surrounding its picture that says "NEW NEW NEW" and it sure as HELL does not have a bitching name like the Baconator. I weep for my nation.

GOOD GOD, PEOPLE!

There were all these bright lights, then darkness, then lights again, and they may or may not have taken be back in time.

Seriously. This blog has fallen down. This blog will try not to let it happen again.

One last shot from Gray's Peak

I snapped this near the end of our hike, after we had descended back into the valley. All these photos are really large and high resolution, for your desktop picture convenience. Just click on them to embiggen.

We may not have had any fancy GPS equipment, but this is only map I need to remember from the trip.

More pictures from Gray's

I hate to bore you people with this, but this was a fairly big accomplishment for both of us, so you'll look at these pictures and like them.

Finally, the summit! With no hats and an arctic wind tearing across the mountains, we put on our raincoats in a feeble attempt to ward off blue fingernails and stinging ears.

The view back towards the way we came.

Facing the other direction. It was stunning to see the Rockies draped across the curvature of the earth like this. From here, we could see the ski towns of Breckenridge and Keystone, too.

Chris, signing the Gray's Peak register. Our hands were so cold we had a hard time writing, but we couldn't go all the way up there and not leave our mark.

RIIIIIIIII-COLAAAAAA!!!!

Um... because it's there?

Since Chris and I moved to Denver a year and a half ago, we've tried to get out there as much as possible to see the things that make Colorado a great place to live. From the People's Fair downtown to supporting whichever team's beating the Rockies, we thought we packed last summer with plenty of fun stuff.

Then the winter hit. We marinated in several feet of snow for long enough to reconsider how we were spending our sunshine days. This year, we promised ourselves, as we shoveled the driveway (again), that we would do even more and make the most of every glorious summer weekend.


So far, we've thrown an awesome party, been camping, hit up a couple of microbreweries downtown, and cheered ourselves hoarse at baseball games (go Padres), a lacrosse game, and concerts at Red Rocks. Despite all this, we still hadn't become aquainted with the Rocky Mountains in all their majestic purpleness. I mean, we've looked at them from our deck, and hiked around the family-friendly groomed trails of the national park, but we wanted to claw our way to the top of a mighty crag and howl to the heavens, "IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GOT, BEYOTCHES?'


Enter Gray's Peak. Gray's is one of the dozens of so-called "fourteeners" in the Rockies, rising to an impressive elevation of 14,270 feet (4,349 meters, or 2.7 miles up from sea level). We got up at 4:30 on Saturday morning, drove an hour into the mountains, then endured three miles of a busted down dirt road to reach the trailhead at 11,200 feet. Armed with plenty of water, trail food, a camera, and determined grimaces, we set off on the 4.5 mile hike up to the summit.


It was amazing to start the hike in the midst of a full-flowering alpine meadow, then to move up through the tundra and on to... just rocks. Most of the fourteeners can be done without any technical equipment or special knowledge, but this was still harder than we expected due to the thinness of the air. For the last mile or so, we had to stop to catch our breath every 150 feet or so. It's the strangest sensation -- I wasn't breathing hard, I just wasn't getting enough oxygen.


Needless to say, we were ecstatic to reach the summit nearly three hours after we started. We signed the register that's kept in a waterproof tube up there, and talked to a couple of old guys who have been doing this for as long as they can remember. Our original plan was to hike the saddle across to Torrey's Peak, another fourteener next door, but despite our energy level and ample supplies, we weren't equipped to deal with the frigid wind whipping across the ridge. Next time, we're taking gloves, pants, and hats -- and we're going to get that damn summit, too. Like the old man told us, "Don't worry if you don't get Torrey's this time. It will still be here when you come back."

That's Gray's Peak in the center of the photo. We took this at the very beginning of the hike, the first time the mountain became visible.

Here's looking back at that same valley (more or less -- it's just a little out of view on the right). I think this was taken about 80% of the way up.

MOUNTAIN GOAT!! Super cool. I'm not sure why his legs got cut out of my picture, but there he is. We were pretty stoked to see wildlife in such a forbidding environment.

Believe it or not, this is STILL not at the peak. Behind Chris is Torrey's Peak, the other mountain that we would have hiked over to if we had been more prepared for the cold and the wind. It doesn't look cold in these pictures, but it is.

Along that green ridge to the left you can see more hikers wending their way up to where we are. (Can you tell I got dressed at 4:30 am? I really didn't care what I was wearing.)

Independence Day Tiki Party

...Because Hawaii's a state too. Chris and I wanted to throw a party on July 4, but I didn't want to go all flagaphile on everyone. It's not really my thing, never has been. Like, I appreciate the fact that I'm an American, with all these opportunities and giant food portions lying about, but on most days I'm not proud of my country. If you'd really like to go in depth with me about that, we'll take it up later. For now, our party pictures.

Okay, so it was a bunch of people standing around in plastic leis and Hawaiian shirts, but it's about the little details at my get-togethers. You will notice that I lovingly installed a plastic sheet along our deck railing that had a picture on it of the beach AND the ocean. Nothing's too good for my guests.

Really, you can't do this sort of thing without dressing up the dog. The skirt lasted just long enough to take the picture, but she left the leis on all night. My dog is awesome and knows how to roll with a theme.

Here's a better picture of the extremely convincing beach scene, enhanced by hula girl Jennie.

Seriously. Best dog ever.

I've been doing stuff!

And taking pictures to prove it! The posts that follow are mostly pictures taken of stuff I've done over the last couple of weeks, from tiki gods to mountain goats. Enjoy.