How about them Rockies?

Today my friend sent me the shortest, most eloquent sports-related email I have ever received. It said, simply,

"Live by the broom, die by the broom."

That pretty much sums up whole World Series. That, and "What a great team that totally fell apart when presented with a team that was slightly better but managed to keep their shit together."

See you next October, people. The Angels are already looking good in next year's pennant race.

bask in my throwback retro vintage cake of yesteryear

There'ssomething just a little old-fashioned about piping cup after cup of powdered-sugar-laden Crisco onto a cake, so for my first official "Wilton method" cake I decided on a generational touchstone that evokes the future of nearly thirty years ago. Pac-Man. The little star-shaped dots that make up P-Manny and his ghosty gang were pretty easy to learn how to do, and the process of filling in an area with dots is downright mesmerizing, something I always look for in a new handicraft hobby.

If I had the whole thing to do over again, I would have colored the base frosting to make the whole cake more interesting -- I simply wasn't thinking when I initially frosted the cake. I'd love to do black frosting so I could lay out more of the Pac-Man game screen, with double blue lines and all. The downside of that is people hate getting their teeth and lips black. So maybe not.

Also, if this would have been actually for someone and I hadn't been fighting off a cold when I finished it at 10 pm, I would have given everyone eyes. I just didn't care enough.

Next week it's creepy clowns and some simple flowers -- I've been told that I have to learn how to do the clowns, but I do not have to put them on a finished cake if I don't want to. Thank god -- I think that will save me a few sleepless nights and therapy bills.

Look what I do for you.

Nothing has happened to me for a while, and nothing looked like it was going to continue happening for quite some time to come. What did I do? I signed up for a Wilton cake decorating class. Now all my cakes are going to be just as beautiful as they are delicious. Someone at work asked me if I was planning on making my own wedding cake. "Hahahahahaa," I said. Because that would be the worst idea ever.

Tonight was the first class, and I'm pretty excited about spending the next three weeks shocking my classmates in a very tame, buttercream-covered sort of way. From what I can tell, they're all kind of soccer mom types who will be content churning out next week's project, a rainbow cake (picture ripped off of someone else's blog who's taken this class before).

I am not making a rainbow cake.

I haven't decided what kind of cake I'm making yet, but it's not going to be a rainbow cake. Maybe a pirate cake, or a zombie cake, or a purple monkey cake, but no rainbows.

Eventually we'll move on to the creepiest-looking clowns you've ever seen. This pictured clown is from the Wilton website, so it's only mildly cringe-inducing. A first-time clown-maker, such as myself, will no doubt produce misshapen, deformed creatures that look humanoid only because of the plastic clown head shoved into the top of it.

The good news is I don't have to eat any of these cakes -- this is why I have an office full of people who eat things that are given to them. It's a good thing, too. The buttercream frosting we have to make for class isn't made with butter at all. It's mostly Crisco. Run away, children.

I will definitely be keeping everyone up to date on the Wilton lessons. I need enough encouragement that I move on to the next levels of classes... otherwise I'll learn just enough to be dangerous. SCARY CLOWNS FOR ALL!!! BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!