The marketers at Coca-Cola, that's who. Soda sales must really be in the toilet for them to slap the following ridiculous copy on the side of each and every one of their 12-packs:
Who know soft drinks could be hydrating?
It's true. All beverages hydrate, including soft drinks. So if you are looking for hydration, but want the delicious and refreshing tase you get form Coca-Cola, don't compromise -- go for it. You'll be hydrating your body with each and every sip.
We offer over 80 ways to hydrate, energize, nourish, relax, or enjoy every drop of life. For more information on the benefits of hydration, go to: hydration.thecoca-colacompany.com
Are they serious? "All beverages hydrate" is the biggest half-truth I've ever seen. Sure they do. Am I the only one that thinks this copy comes dangerously close to "all beverages hydrate equally"? Some more equally than others, obviously. I included the link to their website because it's late and I can't adequately convey my incredulity. It shows a picture of a woman in front of the ocean, drinking water, for heaven sake. They go on and on about the importance of hydration, even offering a hydration calculator to help me figure out how much liquid I need every day. Turns out it's 91 ounces... of water, energy drinks, black coffee, or even refreshing Coca-Cola! Who knew how many choices I had!
I can sleep well tonight, knowing that the benevolent Coca-Cola company has my hydration needs squarely at heart. Well, not sleep, exactly. I've just finished 8 cans of Coke so I can get a head start on tomorrow's hydration needs.
And here's just a quick heads-up -- if you happen to see the word "hydration" any time in the next two weeks, you've now been fully brainwashed to start yearning for one of 80 Coca-Cola products. You've been warned.
1 comment:
That's total bullshit, because sugar dehydrates you, as does caffiene. Sodas are diuretic as well, just like coffee (for many of the same reasons). The more soda you drink the more dehydrated you become. ARRGH!!
Post a Comment