From the dead, dead eyes of the brides and their creepy-ass matching dolls to the terrible web design, this site has it all. For the faint of heart and for those who seriously hate horizontal-scroll websites that default to the RIGHT side of the page (grr), here's a small collection from Barbara's nuptial house of horrors.
The picture kind of reminds me of my mom's wedding pictures, though my mom was far more fetching. The bride doll, though, is just scary. I think Barbara's only found one source for glasses that fit 24" dolls. She should keep looking.
This doll commemorates everything that was wrong with the 80s, including giant floppy bridal hats, shiny shiny satin, and lace chokers. Please, people. Just because you saw it on Dynasty does not make it right.
In a darkened room full of bridal dolls, this is assuredly the one that would start moving first, fomenting a full-on rebellion against the human tormentors. Remember, these things are a full 2 feet tall. Tall enough to stab you in the knee and then scramble up to break your neck in their tiny porcelain hands.
What is this?
Poor thing. She knew she would never find a husband so she got a replica doll made of her white beaded prom dress. Better hurry up there with the flatiron, honey. Your brother's pulling the station wagon out of the garage even as we speak. I bet if you slip the DJ a fiver tonight, he'll play your favorite Def Leppard song. Go 80s.
The kicker is that these handcrafted minions of Satan will set you back $835 a piece. Get two, maybe that way they'll bicker between themselves and never hunt you while you sleep.
2 comments:
You missed the Inventory tab, which commands us to "Buy these dolls now". There are a couple of brides in there - did they seriously order them before they called the actual wedding off? Creepy. Just creepy.
I may be pretty thick sometimes, but what exactly is the purpose of a wedding doll? To sit on a shelf for eternity?
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