Needless to say, I got new ones just like the old ones. I am pleased to report that I managed to attain a few scuffs on the walk home, so they're well on the way to attaining cool-shoe nirvana.
As I was trying on my shoes to make sure they weren't, like, two different sizes, I overheard a woman buying shoes for her son, who wasn't with her. She pointed to the Converse display and asked a salesperson,
"I'm supposed to get some of these Converse shoes. There's a different name for them, though, and I can't remember what he told me to ask for. I want to say 'James Taylors,' but I know that's wrong."
That just about made my day right there.