Yes, I mean you, Internal Revenue Service. Without your yearly demands for scraps of paper from each of my employers, I might never get to have conversations such as the following one. I called up the HR department of a travel agency to which I gave five days of my life last year. Five days. One work week. Thanks again, IRS. Eventually I got through to Radheeka Nahasapeemapetilan (name changed only slightly to protect the stupid) and explained my situation. Here's my true-as-possible-to-life reconstitution of the conversation:
Me: Hi, I'm a former employee and I'd like you to send me a new W-2 as I've moved since working there.
Radheeka Nahasapeemapetilan: [note to readers -- it's only funny if you read her parts in an over-the-top Indian accent] Okay, let me pull out my records.... here we are. We sent you one already.
Me: Yes, I know, but it went to my old address. I didn't supply you with my new one. So I need a fresh W-2 sent out.
RN: We sent it to 2580 Northside Drive.
Me: Yes, I know, I don't live there anymore.
RN: Oh! You moved!
Me: [urge to kill rising]
RN: Okay, let me get your address. What is it?
Me: It's 6174...
RN: Do you have an email?
Me: What? Yes.
RN: Okay, why don't you email me your address, and if I don't get it I will have someone call you. My email is R-A-D-H-E-E-K-A dot N-A-H-A-S-A-P-E-E-M....
You can tell where this is going, people. It was like a bad Abbott and Costello bit, done over the phone as a Bob Newhart bit. But not as funny. I had actually been in the middle of giving her my address when she stopped me to give me her ridiculously long email address. I played along because I want my tax refund, but I'm just laying my money out now that Radheeka is going to be the weak link in this year's tax process.
Hello, House of Phones? Yes, I need a battery for my cordless phone.
ReplyDeleteYou don't carry batteries for cordless phones..Who should I call?
Uh Huh...House of Batteries.....
Uh, thanks.